Faking for Marijuana?

Oh holy crap I am heated. I am 35. I look like every other "typical" person my age, but I live in constant pain. Sometimes you can tell and sometimes you cannot. Some days are better than others. I use marijuana to help me ease and deal with my pain, deal with anxiety, appetite issues (stemming from 12+ years of being on morphine from pain), sleep issues, and to help me chill out after a long day at work. Yeah, I use it for non-medical reasons as well, what are you going to do about it? But tell me I am faking my pain to get my medical marijuana card, ok it is ON.
Every single day I wish at some point I were dead so I would no longer have to feel this hell on a daily basis. My muscles ache and refuse to relax. My bones ache and grind against each other in my back, I have degenerative disc disease. I use the corners of walls to dig into my back to break up the muscle cramps and this is not always helpful. I have cried myself to sleep countless nights because of this pain. I have fallen because my legs give out from under me at random times. This also causes other pain that I get to deal with because I refuse to take the drugs the doctors keep trying to shove down my throat. I have nerve damage and issues that send this unreal sharp pain shooting down my legs and arms. It hurts to stand for any period of time, sit for too long without stretching and getting up to readjust my back, and if I lay in bed too long the pain can be unbearable. I am constantly asking my ex-boyfriend to help me pop my back and rub my back - seriously annoying if you are on the receiving end of these requests daily.
For pain I was given morphine. For nerve damage Neurontin (I may spell some drug names wrong - you will get the idea of what I mean). Sleeping issues I have been prescribe numerous sleep aids. Nausea I was given Phenergan. I cannot even recall the other drugs I was on, but there was about 10 to 15 total daily. Now, I smoke pot. It covers everything and my side affects are giggles and munchies.
So, you think I am faking, fuck you. You do not know me or anyone else who lives in pain like me. Just because you do not see our health issues does NOT give you the right to accuse me of faking to get pot. If I were not in pain and wanted pot, I would get it. I don't NEED your fucking cards, I CHOOSE to do the right thing, unlike you.

Legalization Frustration

I am far from perfect. I admit it. But I am seriously getting more and more frustrated with seeing things online for legalization of marijuana that #1 make no sense or #2 the spelling and grammar are so atrocious that it makes me shake my head and wonder if maybe the cause I am fighting for is worth it because these people make legalizing marijuana look like a terrible idea.

These people are either frustrated and do not read what they write before posting online or uneducated and it shows. The uneducated part I think frustrates me the most since education on and about marijuana is vital to getting it legalized. If uneducated folks start ranting and making zero sense how is that going to prove my (and several others) point about it being a safe non-toxic plant with amazing medicinal purposes? I understand there are  texts and short versions of common words, but when trying to get the word out on marijuana please, I beg of you spell check your shit.

Ignorance and Education

It amazes me how people view marijuana as this evil drug and the only people who use it are lazy fucks who don't do anything but smoke pot and play video games all day.

I may not have a college degree (I am working on that). I do have a full-time job, and not flipping burgers. I work in an office as an office manager - really it is a fancy name for secretary but it pays (some) of the bills :) And here is the kicker!!! I smoke marijuana daily. So does this mean I am a lazy stoner? Am I a lazy stoner even though I contribute to society? Am I a lazy stoner that is trying to make a change in this country? I guess when my marijuana tax dollars pay for this country to better itself we will find out how lazy of a stoner I truly am.

I speak the truth on marijuana and am trying to educate people who have believed the lies told to them about it. My family for one. They are pretty damn conservative, then there is me. Outspoken, loud, obnoxious and not conservative. If I think it, you will know. If I feel it, you will know. So discussing marijuana with them was a very scary step for me, but I have done it. And now I need to re-educate them on the truths. If marijuana were legal I am 100000000% positive my family would use it for medical purposes. But since it is not, they rely on the pills the doctors give them and I get to watch the suffering. I was on morphine for over 12 years. I was NOT a healthy individual contributing to this society. I am still - and most likely will be for a very long time - straighting out my life from those years. 

If only one person reads this and decides to do their own research on marijuana then my job is done. But my goal is to get everyone educated on the truths of marijuana and that just because you smoke it, doesn't mean all you are going to do is sit on the sofa snacking til you're fat and play video games until the day you die. There are motivated potheads like myself. And I am not as motivated as some of the Sensible Washington  or NORML people. I am a mere speck in all of this, but I will continue to get the word out. 

Alternatives...

Someone I care for very much is having back surgery today. Not sure what makes me worry more, the surgery or the recovery. I have been avoiding back surgery and saying no to it for at least 10 years if not longer. I have heard that after one you will continue to need more surgery and I have also heard the surgery sometimes makes the pain worse. That was enough for me to say no, I can make it. I was also numbed from the morphine. I really wish our government would legalize marijuana so that people could have a safe alternative to pain medications. Maybe then this person would actually try a safer medication if it was legal. I am all for modern medicine but the government and the doctors need to recognize that marijuana is a safe alternative to pills. Pills hurt more in the long run than they help in the here and now. My head is spinning because I cannot control what others choose to do and I am so worried this person might have to go through the pure hell I went through. Already the pills are making them nauseous. Marijuana would help with the nausea and the pain. Instead of taking however many pills eat a brownie, smoke a bowl or hell use THC infused soy wax on the parts that hurt and ache. I just wish people would learn and be open to the truth about marijuana. And I wish I could really express what I feel and think right now but just cannot get the words out. Grateful that my boyfriend is here to listen to me as I babble on about crap that makes no sense to him I am sure.

To a speedy and painless recovery…

Really? Am I REALLY Supposed to Believe You?

Ok I am calling bullshit on this. Not sure when the dumbfuck died or if he even did but this is awfully convenient. If the guy is really dead - great. But to celebrate it is not smart nor is it respectful in any way. We get all upset when our soldiers bodies are disrespected and mutilated in combat zones, why the fucking hell are we being just as disrespectful? I thought this was a nation of "Christians" you know the ones that practice what they preach and turn the other cheek. Oh that is right that is in a perfect world, one we obviously do not live in. But I digress from the real topic, the death of bin Laden. The SUPPOSED death of bin Laden I should say. This man has been declared dead (with NO solid evidence) more times than Jesus. I think that alone should prove we need to be wary of what the government tells us. Why should we trust them? They lied before (marijuana kills for example or how about Agent Orange - seriously I can list these things until the sun goes down) and will again. I do not see why people are celebrating someone's death as if it really will have ANY impact what-so-ever on this "war on terror". The dumbass government set up the "Terror Alert" and it should not be used because it fuels the terror. "Now" that he is "dead" people are out celebrating and fueling another fire - the fire of the people pissed off bin Laden is dead. How smart is that America? I think there is something else going on here - not sure what it is but there is something being withheld from the people. And burial at sea so no shrine is made for him - *cough cough bullshit cough* I don't buy it. I just don't fucking buy it.

April 20th

April 20^th. Stoners get stoned and celebrate today. It is the “Hallmark” holiday for tokers. There are many rumors as to the meaning of 420, but this is what it means to me.

Today is a good and bad day for me. Bad for the reason that three years ago today at 4:20 pm my pit bull Piper died. So it is a day I remember her with me and Stella. It is a good day because of many reasons. I get to educate people on marijuana and enjoy a good toke. Today is a day I can appreciate no longer taking morphine or other horrible prescription drugs for my pain. I appreciate my life so much more now. So I will celebrate the lack of morphine in my system today. I am even more excited for tonight because I get to spend it with someone that means so much to me. That is what today is about; spending it with the people I love and care for and spreading my love for this plant to the ears that will listen.

It is a day to enjoy a good toke, but that is what every day is to me. I think every day should be looked as a day of enjoying marijuana. Just like Veteran’s Day – every single day we should celebrate our veterans, not just one day out of the year. And speaking of “Hallmark” holidays – Valentine’s Day – shouldn’t every day be the day you tell the person you love how much they mean to you? So, as I said, every day should be a day to appreciate marijuana - medically or not. Don’t get me wrong, I will toke today – as I do every other. I will also go out and seek signatures for Washington State’s 1149. I will DO something about 420. I will continue to fight for legalization until the Federal Government legalizes it. One day this country will realize how amazing this plant is, how it can help people like it has helped me. I want marijuana legal for everyone who is old enough to serve for this country. If you are allowed to buy tobacco (please don’t - it causes cancer) you should be old enough to LEGALLY purchase marijuana.

So I will listen to my stoner tokin’ songs today and smoke up. I will talk til my voice is gone to anyone who will listen to what I have to say about marijuana. And I will appreciate my life and the people I choose to have in it today. I hope all of you have a stony 420…

How Marijuana Saved My Quality of Life

Being on morphine for so long I became numb - to everything.  I never realized how numb until I stopped taking it and started smoking marijuana as my medication. 


While taking the morphine I was able to do more physically like I had before the car accident.  It numbed my nerves enough that I was able to go to the gym again, go hiking, camping, snowboarding, all the stuff I wanted to do and had done previous to the accident.  But the side affects were horrendous.  I could not stay awake.  Driving was out of the question most days.  I could not get up in the morning so holding down a job was near impossible.  Getting out of bed was such a huge ordeal for me.  I would crawl back in pissed off and grumpy saying, "Fuck the world!" neglecting any and all responsibilities I had for days on end.  I was always sick to my stomach - unable to eat or keep anything down.  I was on edge, if someone looked at me sideways I would unleash my anger on them and that was never pretty.  I was so emotional.   Thinking about how my life was previous depressed me to no end.  Crying was a common thing and it got old pretty quickly.  The happy person I used to be seemed like a dream.  Needless to say I did some things I am not proud of and keeping a healthy relationship going was not in the cards for me while taking morphine.  My head was all screwed up.  My body was all screwed up.  I will not go into the side affects that are erhm - personal, but trust me there are quite a few.  When I say I was numb, I mean even to the touch.  I was a complete mess.  And when the morphine stopped working the doctors would up the dose, making all of these issues amplified.  Morphine was literally poisoning my body.  I had to get blood work done each month to see how my liver and other organs were functioning.  A few times I had seizures, I had no idea what was going on but knew something was not right.  Oh by the way, the doctors did not believe me about the seizures.  That was fun.  My existence was miserable.   

I wish I had questioned the doctors, but I have learned so much from this experience.  Marijuana is an amazing plant and I will say this til the day I die.  It helps me with my pain, my anxiety, my nausea, my not being able to sleep, and yes even my depression.  I do not have the same depression issues I did while I was taking the morphine.  I believe most of the depression was morphine induced.  I have learned to listen to my pain - it tells me when to stop.  And since stopping the morphine and switching to the non-toxic marijuana, I am able to wake up in the mornings in a decent mood - usually before my alarm goes off.  That was an unthinkable act for me for 12+ years!  I now have a healthy appetite and am able to keep my food down which is much more enjoyable.  I may not be able to go to the gym anymore or go snowboarding, but walking my dog and lap swimming are helping keep me healthy.  I am motivated to do things again and that feeling is so amazing.  I want to get out of bed.  I have my passion for life back.  When someone touches me now I can feel it, I long for it.  I used to jerk away from hugs and now I want more.  Yeah, maybe I am that creepy hugger now :)  You know, the one that doesn't let go when they should...  Ok, but really.  My head feels clear and normal (as normal as it can feel I suppose :)) and waiting for the weather to clear up is driving me crazy.  I cannot wait for spring and summer so I can go hiking again!  I want to do these things and desire to again. 

The side affects of marijuana - giggles, munchies and epic weed naps.  I will take these any day over the hell I have lived.  All I can do is get my side of the story out there and hopefully educate people who are in a similar situation that there are alternatives out there to what the doctors are prescribing.