Yup, tonight marks year 13. At least I can drive through that intersection a little easier now... I still get clammy hands, but at least I no longer break out into a full body sweat :)
We we coming home from Soul Coughing, an amazing show! I made sure that B (my ex-husband) did not drink more than one beer because I was already paranoid about drinking and driving. We were dropping off 4 (my sister's date) and were on Mill Plain headed north at the old library. This is what I can remember:
B was driving, I was the front passenger, C (my sister) behind B and 4 was behind me. We were at the light and it turned green and I told B, "Hey, it's green, GO!" Not yelling but kind of joking,. The next thing I remember is opening my eyes to see my windshield shattered and smoke coming from the engine. My airbag was open and dust was all in my mouth. I promptly passed out. When I opened my eyes again I heard C moaning. I look left and B is not conscious. I look at C and see blood - all over the place. I felt SO claustrophobic and removed my seat belt as quick as I could (not very quickly, I was woozy) and got out on my hands and knees. I was wearing a dress and got so much glass in my knees and hands from crawling to get C and B out. I get to the front of my car and there is a bumper on it (not mine), we are now facing west and my car - 1998 Toyota Corolla - is in the shape of a V. I was thinking how pissed I was my car was in pieces and my sister and B are bleeding but can't communicate with me yet. I realize I can't open the doors, but the windows are gone so I touch B and get him to make a noise, 4 is getting out right about this time, and I move to my sister's window and some (I will restrain from using negative terms about this person, even though I would really like to type what I think. I realize we all make mistakes and I have tried to forgive. I just cannot forget. No matter how hard I try.) woman comes at my car and is slurring her words and puts a hand in the driver's window and passenger's window - proceeds to shake my car and ask if they are ok! I am rather protective of the people I love and I went nuts on her. She was wearing a pink fuzzy sweater. People started getting between her and I. Witnesses, had not even dawned on me there could be people around. I smoked tobacco then and was freaking out and tried to light a smoke, but a cop freaked out and made me go sit down. Things get a little spotty here - I saw cops grab the woman that hit us and take her to their car and she was gone. I saw fire fighters, and the jaws of life came out. Imagine being in shock seeing this with two people who mean so much to you, trapped inside and you are told to sit and stay. I didn't do as I was told very well (still don't ;)) and when I was asking if B and C were ok I was getting vague answers, and well, I don't do well with those kinds of answers... They got B out and I heard them talking about how they were going to get C out - her left leg was trapped between the frame of the car and the driver's seat. I heard someone say amputate and well yeah, I think we can all imagine. They asked me who I wanted to ride with B or C. I chose my sister, and I would again. She was in worse shape, and I admit she means the world to me. I recall the ride to the hospital with her and the things I said. Those are going to stay with me, sorry. I remember the ER. Again, nobody wanted to tell me how C and B were, I FREAKED out until they gave me answers, they then sedated me. My parents showed up. Not fun. They had no idea I went and picked my sister up from school in Eugene for the show. They were NOT happy about that one bit.
All of us lived. I know my medical conditions stemmed from this night. I went to court and asked the judge to give the woman that hit us the most harsh sentence he could - she about killed 4 people. She refused to blow so the cops had to take her to the ER and get her blood drawn, it was over double the "legal" limit .08 for Washington State. I heard they had to strap her down to get it. I heard she went to jail for some time. I do not even recall her name. Not sure what has come of her, but she has really put a damper on my life. It's ok though, because she has also given me a purpose. To live the best life I possibly can.
So, to her, I take a bong hit, to help ease my pain, to help ease my anxiety and to help me smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment